When meeting people for the first time, it’s natural to want to make a good impression.  We put our best foot forward.  We highlight our best qualities, hoping it takes attention away from the bad ones.  This desire to create a positive picture of ourselves is a healthy component of our social lives.

During a first interaction, few want to break rapport.  In hopes of sustaining a positive mood, many end up with a mouthful of half-truths and false statements.  We avoid awkward moments that can start tension by resorting to agreeable statements and safe conversation.

There’s nothing wrong with it.  In fact, many cultures encourage it as a form of courtesy. Problem is this desire to please others by holding back the truth can quickly degenerate into negative behavior once our insecurities get in the way.

In online dating, lies are rampant and can run the course from innocent to malicious. Anonymous and flexible, the internet has provided people with an avenue to become who they wish to be instead of who they truly are.

Some lies are mild and harmless. Posting a computer-edited profile photo can make a homely-looking headshot vibrant and enthralling. Hinting that you are a lawyer while you are still in law school can make you appear more successful than you are at the moment.  Stating your insatiable lust to travel make you seem worldly and experienced, even though you’ve only been to two countries in the last five years.

Others are blatant attempts to deceive with varying consequences. Married men who list themselves as single has been a common complaint among female daters.  Everyday, you can find profiles of people who lie about their age, their location, their weight, their looks, and whatever else they feel can help them get better results.

Problem is, using false advertising always create worse results in the end.

The First Date

How are you gonna show up on the first date after all the lies you’ve concocted?  Chances are, you won’t.  One of the most common reasons online daters fear taking the interaction offline is the  possibility that they won’t live up to expectations.  Manage expectations properly by being genuine at the risk of breaking whatever connection you imagine exist.

Whatever lies you come up with either in your profile or in your communication with other members will get exposed in the end.  More than that, it defeats the whole purpose of joining a dating site.  Didn’t you want to meet someone that you can build a relationship with?  Well, beginning a romantic interaction with lies should guarantee it’s doomed for the most part.

Do yourself a favor and be honest from the start.